Ep. 37: Secret Pornography & Color-strology

May 26, 2017

This week goop debuts the most boring sex advice column the world has ever known. This, coupled with a truly basic guide to "colorstrology" makes for a dud of a newsletter. On the plus side, we teach ourselves ESP on our iphones, Aggie delves into the world of mineral sunscreens, and Bryan come out as basket non-binary. Don't forget to rate and review us on iTunes, and follow us @goopyourself on instagram and @goopyoureslfpod on twitter. 


Ep. 36: Matcha Smoothies and Vintage Boobies

May 22, 2017

It's wedding season which means spending thousands of dollars on people you used to be friends with and will barely ever see again. But if you read goop you're super rich anyway so who cares! Aggie and Bryan suffer through terrible groomsman and bridesmaid gifts and self-explanatory relationship advice, but come out the other side with another fun detox to plunge into. Please excuse the audio quality, our engineer (Aggie's dog BB) messed up. Follow us on instagram @goopyourself and twitter @goopyourselfpod and please rate us 5 stars on itunes! Mahalo.


Ep. 35: You Can Pry This Egg From My Cold Dead Yoni

May 12, 2017

This week Aggie and Bryan discuss goop's passionate defense of their ICONIC yoni egg article from earlier this year. They also talk about terrible Mother's day breakfast ideas, doctors who want to sexually exploit innocent young psychics, and why any kid would want an olive oil bundt cake. Plus, we vow to start wearing more expensive sunscreen. Please follow us @goopyourself on instagram, @goopyourselfpod on twitter, and rate and review us on iTunes. NAMASTE.


Ep. 34: Siblings and Cellulite

May 5, 2017

Oh boy, it's the week before Aggie starts the goop detox and turns her life around! In the newsletter, Gwyneth ponders the burden of being way more rich and successful than her brother. We also discuss the myth of cellulite, the magic of heart math, and the absurdity of fancy baby food. Plus, a bonus interview with Aggie's baby brother Henry Klapper to discuss their truly twisted relationship.


Ep. 33: What’s the DEAL with Human Design??

April 30, 2017

HUGE news this week as goop announces a glossy quarterly magazine with Conde Nast, and Aggie & Bryan might have to skip a month of rent in order to subscribe. In the meantime, Gwyneth shills for a straight up cult called Human Design, hawks insane Mother's Day gifts, and has a meatball making contest with noted soulless monster, Jessica Seinfeld. Follow us @goopyourself on instagram!!


Ep. 32: Peanut Sauce and Pregnancy

April 21, 2017

Mercury is in retrograde, causing technological mishaps and near-death experiences, so Aggie & Bryan are grateful to be in the safe cocoon that is goop. This week Gwyneth basically makes a sex tape with her favorite Thai chef, and a crazy doctor shames us into a pre-natal detox. We also learn that plants are trying to kill us. Plus, New Age emoji, spring makeup, and a plea for money. 


Ep. 31: She Sells Shiso In The Goop Store

April 14, 2017

What's that weird leaf holding the wasabi next to your spicy tuna roll? It's shiso, duh... and you're going to want to slather it all over your body because it's now starring in Gwyneth's new perfume! Aggie and Bryan dissect the new scent - but they would rather talk about fast food, Malibu, and fast food on the way to Malibu. Plus, LA's favorite astrological psychologist teaches us to grieve, and we learn how to add algae to all our favorite beverages. This episode is sponsered by Jack In The Box and Lassen's, LA's most homophobic health food store (we wish.)


Ep. 30: You Dim Sum, You Lose Some

April 7, 2017

On this episode, Bryan & Aggie talk tarot cards, the benefits of walking barefoot, why gen xers are just as bad as millenials, and $5400 bags designed by the Olsen Twins. They also share the disappointment and humiliation of not being included in Goop's podcast roundup. Plus, a handy dim sum guide!


Ep. 29: Gwyneth Tells Us To Eat Sh*t

March 31, 2017

On this episode Aggie and Bryan fear for their lives because Gwyneth convinces them that Advil causes Alzheimers and Zertec causes cancer. The only things that can heal us: apple cider vinegar and fecal implants. Plus, more tips on how to turn your kids into boring nerds, how to prevent your crush from driving you crazy, and how to get drunk at home. 


Ep. 28: Supersized Sex Spectacular!!! (Plus, Bryan’s Mom Tries Goop)

March 24, 2017

Spring is in the air and Gwyneth has fancy dildos on the brain. Yes, it's the annual Goop Sex Issue!!! In this extra long episode we go through all the old chestnuts (lube, porn, sex cults, messenger bags) and try not to get scarred for life. Plus, we have a very special boots on the ground interview with Joanne Rucker, Bryan's mom and a first time Goop customer. Will she be a clean beauty convert, or cling to her toxic products?