Goop Yourself
Physical Empaths and Pelvic Sleep Tips

Physical Empaths and Pelvic Sleep Tips

May 17, 2019

It's Apple Martin's 15th birthday! How are you celebrating? We recap all the Instagram festivities and discuss a goop contributor's possible royal wedding before getting into the newsletters. This week the fine women and men at Goop HQ teach us about helping women experiencing homelessness, 3D printed jewelry, the martial art of wellness, an OG functional doctor's new book, The Power Source sleep tips, a summer packing list, a cool white skirt, and some tropical beach balm. Feliz Quinceanera!

Inclusive Yoga and Chemo Workouts

Inclusive Yoga and Chemo Workouts

May 11, 2019

We discuss Gwyneth's Met Ball look, Blythe's Alzheimer's movie, and some upcoming Goop events before getting into this week's bonkers newsletters. There's exercise tips for cancer patients, more mineral sunscreen nonsense, the Falchuk cult's pleasure principle, mouth microbiome, inclusive yoga, podcast bras, pasture raised ghee, and a recap of Goop's Smoky Mountain retreat.

Malachite and Mayor Pete

Malachite and Mayor Pete

May 3, 2019

We discuss Gwyneth's reign as the Queen of the Avengers (skip to 4:30 to avoid spoilers,) her Mayor Pete controversy, that NYTimes article comparing Jack Dorsey to GP, our review of Goop's Knock Me Out chews, and Burger King's co-opting of self-care culture. Then we dive into this week's bleak newsletters: the rollout of the new G-Tox Malachite crystal cleansers, a new line of DoubleJ apparel, a horrible story about cancer and psychics, service worker harassment by a Goop copywriter, three generations of French beauty editors, and new skincare videos by three up and coming Goop ingenues.   

An Angry Daughter and the Avengers Premiere

An Angry Daughter and the Avengers Premiere

April 28, 2019

We discuss Gwyneth's newest role (no spoilers, but we do talk Avengers for the first 8 minutes) and her love for presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg before getting into Goop's Mother's Day newsletters. They include a searing personal letter to an abusive dead mom, pink pants, sunscreen misinformation, Gwyneth's controversial premiere look, bucket bags, weighted blankets, plastic boat shoes, and more discussion of the pelvic floor. 

A $500 Vibrator and a Cancer Curing Touch

A $500 Vibrator and a Cancer Curing Touch

April 19, 2019

Aggie's on a mostly vegan diet, Bryan's on a mostly taco diet, and Gwyneth's taking selfies with a jellyfish in Dubai. We review all the goop news (including a new podcast from one of our nemeses) before diving into the newsletters. We discuss MIT doctor approved vibrators, $10 eye masks, a man who cured thousands of mice from breast cancer, if orthopedic surgery is a scam, a young goop employee who turned down grad school to join a cult, cauliflower oatmeal, and a 4-year-old fashion icon.

MMR Vaccines and Money Stories

MMR Vaccines and Money Stories

April 13, 2019

We discuss a very dubious Gwyneth/Brad rumor, how Gwyneth is finally getting mistaken for her mother, and a gendered reading of the low fat/low carb debate before getting into the newsletters. This week we talk Goop finally taking the right stance on vaccines, useless sweet potato breakfast recipes, a queer feminist wealth manager, Jean's hairbrush tips, a toddler food delivery service, clean acne solutions, and a Goop sponsored Smoky Mountain vacation. 

Goop Glow Peels and Earthquake Meals

Goop Glow Peels and Earthquake Meals

April 5, 2019

We do a quick recap of the Marvel Cinematic Universe through the lens of the only superhero that matters (Gwyneth) before jumping into the newsletters. We discuss the launch of the $150 Goop Glow Face Peels, which Goop ladies are camera ready, why gluten-free cbd brownies are depressing, and how to make surviving an earthquake elitist. Go to patreon.com/goopyourself and sign up for extra content for as little as $1 per month! xx

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QUICK PLUG: Get the Goop Yourself Newsletter for $1 per month!

April 2, 2019

Go to patreon.com/goopyourself and get Aggie and Bryan's monthly newsletter for $1 per month. Join the new "Newsies" tier and read about all our non-goop obsessions we don't have time for on the pod. We write about our current favorite books, music, movies, beauty products, recipes, TV shows and more. Join now and get our latest newsletter delivered straight to your inbox, as well as access to all our back issues on Patreon. Thank you so much for listening to this commercial!

Plant Energy and Pelvic Floors

Plant Energy and Pelvic Floors

March 29, 2019

Audio issues are fixed, hooray!! We discuss Apple vs. Gwyneth, the Beverly Hills Hotel boycott, and the new Avengers poster before diving into the newsletters. This week is all about Peruvian plant energy, eyebrow maintenance, spring skirts, fancy sheets, sexy foam roller workouts, bad quizzes and broccoli tots.  

Bonus Mother and Vintner’s Daughter

Bonus Mother and Vintner’s Daughter

March 22, 2019

This week we discuss the poster for Gwyneth's new Netflix show "The Politician," Aggie's continuing cannabis adventures, and Bryan's ongoing stew obsession. Then we dive into the newsletters - covering color blocking, bonus parents, botanical vodkas, pore protocol, a hellish sounding In Goop Health, urinary incontinence, and a brand new product from our favorite fancy serum.